SDS Debate: Facebook, Self Esteem & Aiming for 153.5 Friends

Many of you probably caught the research study that hit the Sunday Times last weekend about the number of "true" contacts that people have on their Facebook account http://technology.timesonline.co.uk/tol/news/tech_and_web/the_web/article6999879.ece).

Professor Robin Dunbar at Oxford University found that although some Facebook users had thousands of online "friends", in reality they only managed to maintain regular contact with about 150 of them.

Past delegates on our "How to build clients' self esteem" workshop will already be familiar with Professor Dunbar's work regarding the relationship between the size of people's social networks and their self esteem. According to Hill and Dunbar (2003), the average size of someone's social network (based on their Christmas card list!) is 153.5. Now, whether that personally makes you feel proud or whether you feel like "Billy-No-Mates", one thing that is clear is that most of our clients' social networks are considerably smaller than this! Indeed the work that I've done suggests they are frequently in single figures.

We have known for over 30 years through the work of Brown & Harris that social support is a very important preventative factor regarding depression and that the size of someone's social network is an important feature of this. For that reason, when our clients have low self esteem we often try and get them to expand their social networks as a way of addressing this.

However we are often rather uncreative when we try to do this. The most commonly used strategy is "getting them to join a pre-existing group with a shared interest." Unfortunately however, this is often one of the most challenging and stressful ways of doing it and many clients with low self esteem fail as a result.

On our "How to build client's self esteem" (http://www.skillsdevelopment.co.uk/seminars.php?courseid=1) courses we explore other ways of building clients' social networks which are not as threatening for them and as a result are more successful. If you are interested in this topic and can be available on 5th February (London) or 12 February (Manchester) why don't you sign up and come along.

Last minute online bookings for these events even have £25 off!

However, prior to the course I would be interested to hear from you about other ways you have used to help your clients build their social networks. Lets share ideas and draw on our experiences. As always please forward your thoughts to me and we will post the best of them on the SDS Blog (http://sdsmedia.blogspot.com/) so that others can make use of them. If you prefer - post your comments on the blog directly and follow us to keep up with future discussions.

Take care,

Paul

Paul Grantham

Valentine's Day Research :-)

A recent study from California found that men were more prone to falling in love if they tended to overestimate women’s sexual interest in them (aaah...) and highly valued physical attractiveness in potential partners.

Interestingly - there is nothing about the rate of falling out of love in this group. Although - you've got to fall out of love in order to fall in love for often than the others.

Predictors of How Often and When People Fall in Love:

Evolutionary Psychology
www.epjournal.net – 2010. 8(1): 5-28
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Original Article: http://www.epjournal.net/filestore/ep080528.pdf
Abstract:
A leading theory of romantic love is that it functions to make one feel committed to one’s beloved, as well as to signal this commitment to the beloved (Frank, 1988). Because women tend to be skeptical of men’s commitment, this view entails that men may have evolved to fall in love first, in order to show their commitment to women. Using a sample of online participants of a broad range of ages, this study tested this sex difference and several related individual difference hypotheses concerning the ease of falling in love. There was mixed evidence for sex differences: only some measures indicated that men are generally more love-prone than are women. We also found that men were more prone to falling in love if they tended to overestimate women’s sexual interest and highly valued physical attractiveness in potential partners. Women were more prone to falling in love if they had a stronger sex drive. These results provide modest support for the existence of sex differences in falling in love, as well as initial evidence for links between several individual difference variables and the propensity to fall in love.
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What makes a nation suicidal ?

A list of the top nations in the world for suicide rates doesn't make for pleasant bedtime reading. However, as a source of ideas for explaining why people kill themselves (and thus what can be done to prevent it), it is an interesting source of data.

So....what do you think are the factors that are most likely to lead a country to be vulnerable to high suicide rates? Poor social welfare systems ? A poor sense of community or togetherness, maybe its poor mental health services ?

In the industrialised world who do you think scores highest ? The USA ? Many of you may think this is a trick question and answer "the Scandanavian countries". Maybe you think its the UK ?
Well...you would all be wrong and infact, as far as the UK is concerned, it has the lowest suicide rate of all the countries in Western Europe...

The latest edition of The Economist (10 Ocober 2009) has just published OECD data on this question, that begs more questions than it answers. Infact the country with the highest rate is Japan ( a country defined by its sense of community and public services, though arguably with a social tradition of suicide). However, most striking (in position number 3) is France - which has a suicide rate that is TWICE that of the UK and 40% higher than Germany.

The Economist offers explanations which I personally do not find credible - such as a restrictive employment policy that creates meaningless jobs. However, it is a fascinating question as to why a country that prides iteself on quality of life and the value of community should have so may people who want to kill themselves ?

I would like to explore this further at my next block of workshops on Suicide and Self Harm ( http://www.skillsdevelopment.co.uk/seminars.php?courseid=6 ) . Id be fascinated by your tho0ughts and theories on this (whether at the workshop or here on this blog). Let me know what you think.

Take care

Paul

Paul Grantham
Consultant Clinical Psychologist

SDS Debate: Are you using the Resilience Model yet?

Dear All

Happy New Year! I hope you have had a restful holiday period and are geared up for 2010!

I wanted to discuss with you some recent research in the Positive Psychology field.

Longitudinal research by Professor Emmy Werner over last two decades has firmly established that poverty, having substance dependent parents and being abused do not necessarily produce damaged children and adults.

Although the chances of damage are higher, a third of children studied showed no evidence of problems. Of the remaining two-thirds, psychological difficulties usually developed during adolescence but then markedly declined or disappeared in their 30s and 40s.

It appears that protective factors (or their absence) are much more important than risk factors in determining people's mental health and that the skills of "framing" and "reframing" are central in this.

Most significantly, it also appears that people can be taught such skills both before (as a protective measure) and afterwards (as therapy). The Penn Resilience Program (PRP) developed by Professor Marty Seligman, is just one application of its use which has been extensively evaluated over the last 16 years and has been found to significantly reduce a range of problems - from depression to criminality.

The forthcoming SDS workshops on Positive Therapy - http://www.skillsdevelopment.co.uk/seminars.php?courseid=52 - will be examining the question of building clients' resilience along with other practical applications from the positive psychology field. I am looking forward to working with you and am sure that these events will be stimulating for all of us.

However, I also welcome any of your thoughts on the topic prior to then. It will help us to shape the discussion on the course around the most practical issues as perceived by you.

References:

Resilience: A Universal Capacity (2004) www.wested.org/online_pubs/resiliency/resiliency.chap1.pdf
Cardemil, E.V., Reivich, K.J., Beevers, C.G., Seligman, M.E.P., & James, J. (2007). The prevention of depressive symptoms in low-income, minority children: Two-year follow-up. Behaviour Research and Therapy, 45, 313-327

Kind Regards

Paul Grantham
Consultant Clinical Psychologist